Bowtie and the Brain
by LSFRD
Summary: They're Bowtie and the Brain, yes Bowtie and the Brain...Wait a second...
1. Legal Junk and Theme Song!

Legal junk: I don't own either My Little Pony, Pinky and the Brain, or Cheez Whiz. You knew that though, hopefully. O___o  
  
Author's notes: This is my first finished My Little Pony fanfic. It's a crossover with Pinky and the Brain! If you don't know what show that is... sorry, but that ain't my problem.  
  
It may seem odd, and that's because I came up with it at 1 in the morning, when I am usually at my strangest, muahaha! It started with the theme song, and it grew into a fic ^______^;;;;  
  
Don't flame me, please, because I've been flamed before by pony-hating- idiots and I only laugh at you and you'll get flamed right back. And spammed, and shunned, and... uh... So there. Ha and Narf.  
  
Enjoy the fic!  
  
****  
  
They're Bowtie and the Brain  
  
Yes, Bowtie and the Brain  
  
One is a genius  
  
The others equine  
  
*  
  
They're sugar and spice  
  
One's a grump, the others nice  
  
They're Bowtie, they're Bowtie and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,Brain, Brain, Brain.  
  
*  
  
Before the night is done  
  
Their plan will be unfurled  
  
And the Brain will use the ponies  
  
To take over the world!  
  
*  
  
They're Bowtie and the Brain  
  
Yes, Bowtie and the Brain.  
  
Their Twilight campaign  
  
is easy to explain  
  
*  
  
They're gonna fight a lot  
  
That's basically the plot  
  
They're Bowtie, they're Bowtie and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.  
  
*  
  
Neigh! 


	2. Chapter One

~Dream Valley, Ponyland ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bowtie was bored. Not tired bored, or nothing to do bored. Just bored with what she had to do.  
  
"AppleJack," she whined "When are we going to finish picking these apples? Can't I go now?"  
  
"No!" said Applejack cheerfully, plucking another apple daintely with her teeth, and placing it in the basket. Her orchard was her sanctuary, and every apple should be handled with extreme care in her opinion. She marveled that the succulent fruit could be white, and yet have so much flavor, and potential. You could make applesauce, apple pie, apple cider, even--  
  
Bowtie grabbed an apple, biting into it in the process, and dropped it in the other basket. Applejack glared at her, but the blue pony didn't seem to notice, and she bit another one, squirting juice in her mane.  
  
"I was so sure that baby Firefly could fly a double-inside loop," she complained to the orange and yellow earth pony beside her. "I mean, she learned to fly a lot before the other baby ponies."  
  
"Three days," corrected Applejack "And besides, she is only a baby pony. Even Firefly crashed into a tree last week. And Dream Castle the week before that." She picked another apple.  
  
Bowtie mimicked Applejack behind her back.  
  
"Three days," she mouthed "Three days."  
  
Applejack turned around to put another apple in the basket, but saw Bowtie and spat the apple at her instead. It had had a worm hole in it anyway. No good for even PIES.  
  
"Owwwww!" whined Bowtie as it hit her on the side of the head, "Why'd ya chuck the apple at me?"  
  
Applejack sighed.  
  
"Chuck?"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
Because Bowtie was sleeping.  
  
"Snoooore...snort...snoooooore...snort..." she snored. Applejack stared, openmouthed. How could she fall asleep so fast? And so...so... disgustingly?  
  
Another apple hit Bowtie straight between the eyes.  
  
"SNOOOOORT!!!...huh?!"  
  
Applejack shook her head in disgust. What a disgrace. Ponies weren't supposed to be such slobs.  
  
"Oh, go and chase a butterfly or something. You're no help." she told the pony, staring forlornly at the teeth marks on a red, juicy apple. That one would have been absolutely perfect for a pie.  
  
Bowtie grinned. "Thanks."  
  
"You still owe me."  
  
Bowtie snorted again, knowing that Applejack would forget anyway. Applejack knew too, and she really didn't care. Medley was a better apple picker anyway. She didn't leave teeth marks on perfectly good fruit.  
  
"Yo, butterfly!" Bowtie called "Yeah you, with the blue wings. Come over here and show me what your made of!"  
  
Applejack shook her head again. Bowtie was such an animal.  
  
"Where do you get this... atrocious language?" she asked.  
  
"One word."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Danny."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bowtie grinned as she stared at the Rainbow. She knew it was dangerous to run on it, as portholes sometimes opened up... Sugar had dissapeared three years ago over the Rainbow and never returned. Some ponies came back off the Rainbow with strange tales of a green land with spork flowers and a green pony with blue eyes that sounded quite like her...  
  
Oh well, thought Bowtie, Nobody liked Sugar anyway. She stole from the kitchens and jumped on the beds at night. But it was kind of funny when she crashed through the ceiling and landed on Princess Tiffany's bed. While she was sleeping. Friendly was never the same again.  
  
And with that thought, she bounded up the rainbow.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bowtie had come across four portholes already, but none seemed to be of any interest to her.  
  
One was a clock, probably to go back in time or something. Bowtie was not eager to be in diapers again, so she left that one. One a tree. And Bowtie didn't want to go for a strole in an alien forest with who-knows-what lurking in the shadows. The other two had both been different plants. (One of which had tried to bite her, the other making strange noises.)  
  
Then she came across a fifth porthole.  
  
A tiny building, with the words "Acme Labs" On it. It was seemingly flat, and colored oddly. Like a painting, which was not unusual. But the fact that it had the word "Labs" on it intrigued her. It had to be a joke, there was no such thing as a real LAB.  
  
Bowtie grinned and slowly, she lept forward and into the porthole.  
  
This is where it all began. 


	3. Chapter Two

~Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Brain watched as the cab turned the corner. Then he pondered on what to do. Now that Pinky, his hyperactive and frighteningly stupid sidekick was gone, should he try again to take over the world, or should he enjoy a quiet evening at the lab? On second thought, maybe at Billie's cage. Or the Franklin Mint.  
  
He pondered a bit more, and then made his way inside when he was almost run over by a bicycle.  
  
He was still pondering what to do when something large and blue crashed through the ceiling and hurtled towards him.  
  
"Aaaaarrrgh!" he yelled, and was promply squished.  
  
The thing that had squished him screamed too.  
  
"Aaaaarrrgh!" she yelled "I'm in a lab, aaaaaaaagh!!!People are going to test on me and I'll turn into a giant moth! Aaaaahh!!!!!"  
  
She began to rampage around the lab, knocking over garbage cans and weird looking liquids in glass bottles. Two crashed together and there was an explosion that knocked over a table, throwing Bowtie (with Brain stuck to her stomach) across the room.  
  
They hit the wall with a large WHUMP, and Brain peeled off and fell on the floor.  
  
"Ouch."  
  
Bowtie also fell over, but in a dead faint.  
  
Thump.  
  
There was silence in the lab.  
  
Brain stood up.  
  
"Oww, my head." he groaned, then looked at the cause of all his pain.  
  
It was blue and pink, and very large, though he had already established that.  
  
He climbed on the table that was not overturned and looked down. It was a blue horse. No, a pony.  
  
"A blue pony?" he said, "Impossible! Absolutely impossible!"  
  
And it had freckles. White ones. And pink bows on it's rump. And a pink main and tail. It was sickeningly cute, except for the drool that was coming from the side of it's mouth.  
  
"A blue pony." he repeated "It must be from a fair or something. And they dyed it, maybe. But what about it's eyes?"  
  
The eyes were huge and beady. He wished it would open them so he could get a look at what they looked like instead of just the size.  
  
His wish came true.  
  
She sighed. Then she stood up and opened her huge eyes and looked around.  
  
"I can't belive it's a real lab...I thought it was some kind of joke! Labs aren't supposed to exist in real life! They aren't, they aren't, they aren't!"  
  
Brain had been watching openmouthed at all this."Talking pony!" he said.  
  
She eyed him.  
  
"Yuck," she said, "A rat. A horrible white rat. A mutant rat."  
  
Brain cringed.  
  
"I am not a rat." he said, irritated. "I am a genetically altered lab mouse bent on taking over the world! My sidekick Pinky is visiting his parents in Chad. And who might you be?"  
  
"Bowtie. I'm a My Little Pony. From Ponyland."  
  
She blinked.  
  
"Taking over the world? A sidekick?" She suddenly doubled over laughing, and Brain felt a second wave of irritation wash over him.  
  
"It's not funny," he said, "I am the Brain and I will soon be your ruler."  
  
Bowtie snorted. "Yeah right." she said "My only ruler is Majesty. And maybe the princesses on a good day. Except for Tiffany who is such a priss. She hates me." she grinned and looked suddenly evil. This time it was Brain's turn to eye her.  
  
"Now what do I do," mused Bowtie, "If I stay here I'll be experimented on, and I definately don't wan't a big head like you." She shuddered. Brain sighed.  
  
"Yes, that's true." he said, pondering, "But first we will have to figure out how you can get back. If you stay here you might not be experimented on at first, but you might end up in a zoo for money."  
  
Then it hit him.  
  
"Yes!" he said "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"  
  
"What? You sound like Wind Whistler."  
  
"Thinking. Pondering."  
  
"Oh. How am I supposed to know if I'm pondering what your pondering?"  
  
Brain sighed.  
  
"I can use you to take over the world! You 'My Little Ponies' are sickeningly cute, from what I can see. With that, I can frighten the people of the world into making me their leader!"  
  
"What's in it for me?" asked Bowtie, looming threateningly over him.  
  
Brain pondered again.  
  
"Well, to get the rest of you from this 'Ponyland', I'll have to somehow open the portal that leads there. Once I am ruler of the world, you can all return to 'Ponyland'. If not, you'll never get back, unless you allready have a way to open the portal."  
  
Bowtie nodded slowly.  
  
"Okay," she said hesitantly "Fair enough. Where do we start?"  
  
Brain grinned evily.  
  
"We'll have to disguise you." 


	4. Chapter Three

~Dream Valley, Ponyland ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Your Majesty, I am here and wish to speak to you."  
  
"Your name?"  
  
"Princess Tiffany."  
  
"Enter."  
  
The large doors creaked open and a white pegasus with shining hair entered the throne room. Her cream colored, fur lined cape swept the ground and her folded wings shone. Her bright blue eyes were intelligent, and yet vain. She was beautiful, and she knew it.  
  
"Your Majesty," she said, and she bowed on one knee.  
  
The white unicorn regarded Tiffany with a wry smile. She knew that Tiffany despised having to bow, as she was more acustomed to having ponies bow before her.  
  
There was silense in the throne room as Tiffany rose.  
  
"I have come on urgent matters," she said, "A pony has disappeared."  
  
Majesty nodded. "Who is it?"'  
  
"It is Bowtie." said Tiffany.  
  
"Bowtie?"  
  
"Yes, Bowtie."  
  
"Well that's nothing unusual," said Majesty with a small smile, "She's probably off in the woods sleeping."  
  
"You don't understand, Your Majesty," said Tiffany, shaking her head, "She dissapeared over the Rainbow. Medley spotted her jumping into a porthole."  
  
"A porthole!" exclaimed Majesty, "Where did it lead? What did it look like?"  
  
Tiffany again shook her head. "We don't know, your Majesty," she admitted, "It closed and disappeared before she could find out. She said it was blue, though."  
  
"How long ago was this?" asked Majesty.  
  
"About an hour or so. Medley had some trouble convinving the other princesses that she was not sleeping in the woods, as you first said. I had my doubts too, but when she explained about the porthole, I knew that she was telling the truth. We decided that we would wait to see if the porthole would reapear. But it did not."  
  
"So you decided to come and see me?" said Majesty wearily.  
  
"Yes, your Majesty." said Tiffany, making another short bow, "I'm sorry to place this burden upon you. But there was nothing else to do."  
  
"I understand," said Majesty "Now, we must take action. Shall we send out a search party to see if Bowtie is in any portholes with the description of the one Medley has seen?"  
  
Tiffany nodded. "Good idea, your Majesty. I shall summon all the unicorns I can, so that they will be able to return back to Ponyland once their search is complete."  
  
"Good," said Majesty, "I only hope that it isn't too late. What foolish pony! We have all heard the stories of what happens when ponies go into unknown portholes. Still, I wonder what she is doing right now..." 


	5. Chapter Four

~Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I can't believe I'm doing this."  
  
Bowtie stared down at the white coat she was wearing, and the glasses. And then at the wig and mask. She looked like a two legger. Like Megan, or even Molly! Or... she shuddered... Danny!  
  
"I look like an ape. White is not my color."  
  
Brain was thoroughly enjoying himself.  
  
Call ME a rat, will she, he thought, well at least I don't have to pretend I'm a scientist.  
  
He snickered.  
  
"What are you snickering at?" Demanded Bowtie, suddenly looking menacing "You think this is funny? Are you thinking that I look funny?"  
  
"You sound like Pesto."said Brain.  
  
"Who's Pesto?" asked Bowtie.  
  
"You don't wan't to know." he answered. Bowtie glared.  
  
"Now," said Brain "You have been dusguised, but what to do next?"  
  
"Who cares?" snarled Bowtie. "Why do I have to wear this stupid costume anyway?"  
  
She had begun to look quite savage. She did not like having her face painted peach. Or anything else, for that matter.  
  
"Because, obviously your friends are not going to just forget about you. They'll probably send out some sort of search party, but you don't know when that will be. We have to make sure that nobody sees you before then. It would ruin everything if you were taken to a zoo."  
  
Bowtie sighed. "Explain the plan to me again, please?"  
  
Brain sighed as well. But he obliged.  
  
"My plan, is that once a search party arrives in this portal, we will capture them in this cage."  
  
"Uhh...but they'll probably send out unicorns. So that they can get back through the portals once they're done searching. They'll just escape and turn you into a boot or something. You won't have time to cage them."  
  
"That's what I've been trying to work out." said Brain irritably. "I've been working on this!"  
  
He whipped out a small glass bottle filled with aqua liquid that bubbled and hissed.  
  
"When I release this, it will turn into a gas that will shut the portal and get rid of any... abnormalties such as horns. Once my plan is complete, I will reverse the effect using the same gas, but mixed with a secret ingredient!"  
  
"Which is...?" asked Bowtie.  
  
"If I told you it wouldn't be a secret." Brain said.  
  
Bowtie casually lifted up a large hoof, and swung it around a bit over his head.  
  
Brain gulped. "Uhh...what I meant to say is...that it wouldn't be a secret if we told anyone else...eh heh heh..."  
  
Bowtie glared. "Then tell me what it is!" she said.  
  
"Cheez Whiz, okay?" said Brain.  
  
"Fine. Then what?"  
  
"Then, once they are safe and non-magical, They will be caged until I have explained my plan, and the conditions to get them back."  
  
"What makes you think they'll agree?"  
  
"Do you really think they'll want to stay here forever?" asked Brain, pointing outside to the smog clouds and bikers.  
  
"Good point." agreed Bowtie. "Then if they agree, what will you do?"  
  
"I'll set you all loose, and you can do what you want. You just have to act extremely cute. Once they begin begging you to stop, tell them my conditions. They must let me rule the city!"  
  
"I thought you wanted to take over the entire world, not just the city."  
  
"I do. But once the search party is missing, they'll probably send another search party out to search for the missing one. I'll then repeat the procces, slowly taking over as more ponies enter. Once I rule the world, I will bring you back to 'Ponyland', telling the people of the world that I will bring you back if they rebel."  
  
Bowtie nodded. "You really planned this out, didn't you?" she asked.  
  
"Yes." said Brain proudly. "With much calculating and planning, of course, I have come to the conclusion that this plan cannot fail as long as you ponies all agree to my conditions! And I am sure that none will wan't to stay here."  
  
"Great." said Bowtie, "But, oh, no wait."  
  
Brain groaned, feeling an odd sense of deja vu.  
  
"What is it?" he asked.  
  
"Well, how will you keep track of us all?"  
  
Brain stopped. "Hmmm..." he said, "Well, I have a solution."  
  
Five minutes later, he proudly displayed his solution.  
  
"Pink...Bows..."  
  
"They're bugged!" he said. "It will both keep track of you, and add to the effect of extreme cuteness which is crucial in my plan."  
  
"But what about the male ponies? I don't think they'll go for pink. Dye a few of them blue."  
  
Brain obliged, and turned some of them blue. Or tried to.  
  
"Now they're purple." said Bowtie. "Eurg. Not even a nice one either. It's kind of muddy purple."  
  
'They'll have to do." snapped Brain "Now we wait." 


	6. Chapter Five

~Dream Valley, Ponyland ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay!" yelled Twilight throught a megaphone. "Two unicorns and two pegasi to each group! The earthers can go wherever."  
  
"Because we're useless, right?" asked an earth pony dryly.  
  
"No," said Twilight "Because there are so many of you, that it shouldn't be a problem getting at least three of you in each group."  
  
"It's all my fault!" wailed Shady in the background. "I should have been nicer to Bowtie! Now we'll all get eaten by evil portals and die! Oh no!"  
  
"What color of the rainbow will we be looking on?" asked Fizzy.  
  
"Blue, bubblehead." said Gusty nastily.  
  
"It is quite logical that she dissapeared aroung this time yesterday, and the portal should appear in roughly the same time it did yesterday." Wind Whistler was saying.  
  
"My hair is ruined!" screeched Heart Throb as one of her crispy ringlets got caught on a branch.  
  
"Don't you worry, dear." said Peachy. She whipped out some hair spray and comb from who-knows-where and began to fix it.  
  
Twilight suddenly appeared.  
  
"You, you, you, you, you, you, and you." she said, pointing to some of them. Altogether there was Shady, Fizzy, Gusty, Heart Throb, Wind Whistler, Peachy and Barnacle. A very interesting combination.  
  
They entered the search area. A pony at a desk gave them an assigned area of the rainbow, near where Medley saw it.  
  
"Then we have a good chance." said Fizzy.  
  
They looked until they saw a large number 10 on a flag, waving from a tree near the rainbow, They stood by it.  
  
"What now?" asked Gusty.  
  
"I guess we just look for one and go into it." said Peachy.  
  
Just then, the Acme Labs portal shimmered into view.  
  
"Why not?" asked Peachy.  
  
"I'll go first," said Gusty, "Cause' I'm a unicorn. Then Fizzy, and then anyone else who feels like it."  
  
"Aye, aye, Cap'n," said Barnacle, slightly sarcastically. Gusty glared at him.  
  
Then she jumped forwards. 


	7. Chapter Six

~Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Brain was starting to feel a bit chilly. Cold air was drifting in from the hole in the roof. He sighed and watched as Bowtie stared transfixed at the TV.  
  
"No matter how many times Danny explained about television, I never understood what was so great about it," she explained "Until now."  
  
Then she went back to watching David Letterman.  
  
"What's with his teeth?" she asked.  
  
But just then a whistling sound filled the room, and out of the hole in the roof, a white unicorn came.  
  
"Wooooaaaah!" she yelled.  
  
Brain jumped. Another unicorn came falling out of the roof, and then more and more ponies came down until seven of them were all gaping at him.  
  
He quickly unscrewed the bottle and the gas filled the room.  
  
"Sleeping gas!" shrieked a pink one. "I knew I shouldn't have come! Now I'll be--"  
  
The white unicorn kicked her. "It's not sleeping gas!" she yelled. "It's--" She didn't get to finish her sentance. The fog vanished, getting sucked back into the jar.  
  
Fizzy shrieked. "Your horn is gone...and so is mine!"  
  
Gusty put her hoof up and it hit something. "It isn't gone!" she said "but all the magic is drained out of it."  
  
"My wings!" wailed Heart Throb. "My beautiful wings!"  
  
"Goodness gracious!" said Peachy.  
  
They began to stampede, but then a cage fell out of nowhere and trapped them.  
  
"Arr!" yelled Barnacle, pounding against the bars.  
  
Shady yelled "It's all my fault! I knew I shouldn't have come! Now I'll die! Heeeeeeeeeeelp!"  
  
"Calm down!" Bowtie roared into the confusion.  
  
There was dead silence.  
  
"Bowtie?" said Peachy "But--?"  
  
"Bowtie waved a hoof to silence her. "Listen," she said "This is what happened..." 


	8. Chapter Seven

~Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So basically," finished Bowtie "If we wan't to go home, we're going to have to do what he tells us."  
  
Gusty stared at her.  
  
"But why didn't you just wait for us?"  
  
Bowtie blinked. "Pardon?" she asked.  
  
"Why didn't you just wait for us to come." said Gusty "We would have found you, and used our magic to open the portal and bring you back. Then we wouldn't have to do anything to get back."  
  
Bowtie was sitting there openmouthed, blinking rapidly in shock. She shut her mouth.  
  
"I never thought of that." She admitted "But then again, I didn't know for sure if there would be a search party. I had to hope that Medley saw me go into the portal, and would tell people."  
  
"But how did you know Medley was there?" asked Peachy "And why did you go in in the first place?"  
  
"I saw Medley watching birds from a tree. And I thought that it was just a joke, because labs weren't supposed to exist in real life. But I guess they do. I just figured I would bounce off of it or something. But if I didn't, I hoped Medley would spot me. And apparently she did."  
  
"Apparently." said Heart Throb dryly.  
  
Wind Whistler had been strangely silent. Now she spoke.  
  
"Though there may be many flaws in his plan, it seems as though we have no choice but to follow them. Unless we wan't to remain here forever."  
  
Fizzy spoke up.  
  
"Wind Whistler is right. What's done is done. We're going to have to get started. The sooner we start, the sooner we can leave."  
  
"The first intelligent words I've heard from you since we arrived, Bubblehead." said Gusty.  
  
"So what do we do next?" asked Peachy curiously.  
  
"You'll see." said Bowtie. 


	9. Chapter Eight

~Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Arrr! I'm not doin' it, matey!" growled Barnacle as he stared at the purple bow. "Tis' fer the girls. Not fer the men!"  
  
Bowtie grabbed the bow from Brain, and before Barnacle knew what was happening, the bow was on his tail.  
  
"Arrr!!!" he roared.  
  
Bowtie slid it so the bow was under his tail, and only a thin strip of muddy purple remained in view.  
  
Barnacle eyed it. "Fine, matey," he said "But no more should be showin'."  
  
Heart Throb was also refusing hers.  
  
"It's not my color!" she said sniffily.  
  
Peachy, who was used to this kind of thing, dipped the bow quickly in the rest of the blue dye, and rung it out just as fast. It made a tye-dye pinky- purple color.  
  
Heart Throb was pleased, and agreed to wear it around her tail.  
  
Wind Whistler was engaged in a scientific conversation with Brain, who was in shock. He had thought all ponies incapable of intelligence such as hers.  
  
Also, she was smarter than him.  
  
"Oh, no no! The number 23 cannot be mixed with 42 when doing an equasion of this sort!" she said, grabbing some chalk in her hoof.  
  
Brain stared.  
  
"How did you do that?" he asked. "You don't have fingers."  
  
"Magic," said Wind Whistler.  
  
"But I got rid of all the magic!" said Brain. Wind Whistler shook her head. "But this magic is embedded in us too deep. It can't be drained."  
  
She then commenced a stream of scientific words that would shock Einstein.  
  
Brain quizzed her.  
  
"What's the Asthenosphere?" he asked.  
  
"From the Greek: asthénos: weak. The internal layer of the Earth below the lithosphere, which is weak and in which isostatic adjustments take place, magmas may be generated, and seismic waves are strongly attenuated. It is a part of the upper mantle. Under the continents, the asthenosphere is at 200 km depth. It is less deep under the oceans." answered Wind Whistler "Ask something harder."  
  
"What is Geochemistry?"  
  
"The study of the distribution and amounts of the chemical elements in minerals, ores, rocks, soils, water, and the atmosphere, and the study of the circulation of the elements in nature, on the basis of the properties of their atoms and ions A major concern of geochemistry is the synoptic evaluation of the abundances of the elements in the Earth's crust and in major classes of rocks and minerals."  
  
Brain was starting to feel scared.  
  
Wind Whistler in turn, quizzed him.  
  
"What are Hydrothermal vents?"  
  
Brain was shocked to find he didn't know.  
  
"Uhhh..."  
  
"Hydrothermal vents are mineral deposits formed by the precipitation of chemical elements contained in hot fluids emerging from the ocean seafloor. Hydrothermal solutions show temperature varying between 20°C and 400°C and are enriched with various chemical compounds such as Fe, Pb, Mn, Hg, Cd, Zn, H2S, etc. The large sulfide structures arising from the precipitation of minerals are colonized by luxuriant faunal communities that are strictly related to this environment." she answered.  
  
Brain almost fainted.  
  
"I knew that," he said "I just forgot."  
  
Wind Whistler continued to change his calculations to the correct form.  
  
Peachy was recurling Heart Throb's hair.  
  
Fizzy was watching TV with Bowtie.  
  
Gusty was trying to look bored, but not succeeding, and finally joined Fizzy and Bowtie in watching Bugs Bunny.  
  
Barnacle was reading a book. Or trying too. Actually, he couldn't read, and was looking at the pictures.  
  
Shady was watching nervously out the window for Earth monsters. She shrieked and ducked every time a car, truck, or bicycle went by.  
  
Brain finally stopped Wind Whistler. He stood on a tall bookshelf.  
  
"Ponies!" he said "I suggest you sleep, for you will have to get up early tomorrow in order to avoid the scientists."  
  
They nodded, but didn't move.  
  
"Now," he said to Wind Whistler, "You may be an expert in geology, but do you know what Isotope means?"  
  
"One of two or more species of the same chemical element, i.e. having the same number of protons in the nucleus, but differing from one another by having a different number of neutrons. The isotopes of an element have slightly different physical and chemical properties, owing to their mass differences by which they can be separated."  
  
"Darn." 


	10. Chapter Nine

~Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next morning, the ponies stumbled out of the lab wearing sheets over their heads.  
  
"My hair!" wailed Heart Throb again.  
  
"Shut up!" yelled Gusty, finally cracking "Nobody cares about your hair!"  
  
"I do!" retorted Heart Throb. She sidled over to Barnacle. "Helloooo..." she giggled as she flirted with him.  
  
He shuffled over behind Gusty, suddenly seeming frightened.  
  
"What next, matey?" he asked her. He didn't seem all that curious, but he wanted to drown out Heart Throb's annoying giggles.  
  
Brain waved them away.  
  
"Spread out and then take the sheets out once you are safely away from the lab. That way nobody will suspect me. Then go and be cute or whatever."  
  
They spread out, all except for Bowtie who remained with Brain to be his assistant. When another search party would arrive, she would explain what to do, and then give them the bows. While she waited for the first ones, she watched Animaniacs.  
  
"Stop it!" yelled Brain finally, after hearing Bowtie recite the Animaniacs theme song for ten minutes straight. "The scientists will be arriving soon. You're going to have to tell then that the lab is closed this month."  
  
"Why?" asked Bowtie.  
  
"Well, even if you're diguised," said Brain "The scientists might find out what you are and ruin the whole plan! We have to keep them away."  
  
"Oh. Kay." said Bowtie.  
  
Then she wen't to the door to wait.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile, in the city...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Peachy walked happily throught the streets, searching for a salon. After all, she might as well enjoy it while she was here, right? Amid gasps of "She's too cute!" she trotted towards a salon and shoved the door open with her nose.  
  
There was a predictable, "Ahh! I can't stand the cuteness!".  
  
Five minutes later, she was styling hair like the pro she was.  
  
"Oh, dear." she said as a human with an afro walked in. "You look like Nightshade, only ten times worse. After all, you are a human."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Heart Throb was thoroughly enjoying herself. The awe of the crowd was wonderful. Well maybe it wasn't awe. But close. She flounced her way up the street, tossing her mane, head in the air. Until she ran into a stop sign.  
  
She saw a cafe.  
  
"Hmmm..."  
  
She ventured inside. Soon she had a job as a waiter.  
  
Soon all the ponies had jobs.  
  
Peachy in the salon, glad for the challenge of human hair. Heart Throb as a waiter, loving her new uniform. Gusty a police officer, who successfully apprehended a robber, after threatening to spear him with her horn. Fizzy was a kindergarden teacher (as a substitute) playing with little kids.  
  
Barnacle was selling fish.  
  
Wind Whistler was a university teacher, after a rowdy class threw the old one out the window. She flew out of reach, and soon the class gave up.  
  
And Shady was hiding in some bushes whimpering in fear...Go figure.  
  
Slowly, Brain's message spread throught the town. But nobody listened. Why? You ask.  
  
Because who cared?  
  
The ponies were cute, but the people were starting to see the other side of them. The side that wasn't cute. Like Gusty. A pony lounging around in a chair eating glazed donuts and coffee wasn't cute.  
  
A pony teaching at a University wasn't cute.  
  
A pony whining and shrieking and hiding in bushes wasn't cute.  
  
A pony flouncing around, shrieking at every misplaced hair wasn't cute.  
  
A pony shaving your hair off and saying "Poor humans, how do they get on with this ugly hair?" then slapping brightly colored wigs on your head wasn't cute.  
  
And a big pony wearing a pirates hat and an eyepatch who smelled like fish definately wasn't cute.  
  
Maybe Fizzy was cute. But one out of seven doesn't have much of an effect, really.  
  
And slowly, the ponies sank into the community, becoming a part of it. And Brain's message faded into the air like the steam of Gusty's coffee, until it was forgotten.  
  
The lab became suspicious and reopened. Bowtie began to learn things and started to love to work with chemicals. She sunk in too, while Brain stressed that another search party would arrive in the middle of the crowded lab. But they never did. Because they had enough on their hands, and their group hadn't been the only one to dissapear.  
  
"Two more days until the scientists week off." Brain kept muttering nervously.  
  
And then it came. Brain was free to stop worrying for at least a week. He prepared for the next search party, but they didn't come.  
  
Finally, Brain asked Gusty one night as she came back into the lab to sleep, "What about my message?"  
  
"What message? Oh. That one. Uh...well everybody was ignoring it so I gave up."  
  
"What?!" Said Brain "They ignored it?!"  
  
"Face it, pal." Said Gusty "Your plan is a flop. You might as well give up."  
  
Brain gaped as Gusty went to the couch and fell asleep.  
  
The others returned, and they had much the same answer. His message was gone... and like Gusty had said, his plan was a flop.  
  
Brain pondered much of the night, and finally he came to a conclusion. 


	11. Chapter Ten

~ Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ponies," said Brain, as they woke up, "Before you go, I have an announcement.. A very important one..."  
  
The ponies stopped and sat down. Brain sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry to tell you that you're going to have to return you to Ponyland."  
  
There was silence.  
  
"My plan has failed, and I certainly can't keep you here. Not like you'd want to stay. So what about tonight?"  
  
"Well..."said Gusty slowly "I suddenly don't know anymore... Do I even wan't to go back? This world is a lot more exciting."  
  
"What?!" yelled Brain "That's insane! You can't stay here."  
  
"An' why not?" growled Barnacle. "I like sellin' fish. The fish here are a lot more interestin' than the ones in Ponyland. Well, kinda..."  
  
"And there are no Universities in Ponyland."  
  
"And the hair on humans is much easier to work with." said Peachy.  
  
"And the kids aren't as crazy. And funner to play with." said Fizzy.  
  
"Ponyland has nothing near as dangerous and exciting as a police force." said Gusty.  
  
"And--and there are no fun chemicals and stuff to work with. We don't have a lab in Ponyland." said Bowtie.  
  
"And these humans don't tell me I worry too much. They say I'm cute. Sometimes..." said Shady.  
  
"And I love being a waiter. There are no interesting cafes in Ponyland." said Heart Throb.  
  
"We wanna stay!" said numerous ponies.  
  
Brain nearly passed out from shock. Could you blame him?  
  
The ponies set out, leaving one very confused and dazed mouse behind. 


	12. Chapter Eleven

~ Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm sorry," said Brain, "but you just can't stay here anymore. It's too dangerous!"  
  
"But where will we sleep?" demanded Gusty.  
  
"That's not my problem." said Brain, glaring. "It was your choice to stay, and the scientists are getting suspicious. You can't stay here anymore."  
  
"Fine." snarled Gusty, and she stamped out of the room, grabbing her custom made police uniform. The others followed, and Brain had blessed silence.  
  
Meanwhile, Gusty walked straight to the police station. "Is there anywhere I can sleep?" she demanded.  
  
"Sure."  
  
She was soon set up on a couch.  
  
Peachy walked to the salon, and asked to be payed for her work. She was, and she wen't out to rent a cheap apartment.  
  
Shady hid in more bushes.  
  
Fizzy asked another teacher if there was anywhere she could stay and the teacher told her that she would be welcome to sleep in her basement, since she was being such a help at the school. Plus her beady eyes was too much to stand.  
  
Barnacle slept on various ships, the sailors not minding.  
  
Heart Throb did the same as Peachy, and got a cheap apartment as well.  
  
Wind Whistler, though, remained at the lab, telling Brain that one could stay, and that she could also be tested by him or something. Brain reluctantly agreed.  
  
Bowtie? Bowtie also stayed, and got a job at the Lab as a scientist.  
  
And they were happy, all until one day....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You're fired!"  
  
"What?!" said Heart Throb "You can't fire me!"  
  
"I just did!" said the owner of the cafe. "You dropped one too many mugs of coffee on the customers, my dear."  
  
"I attract business!" exploded Heart Throb. "At least two person in here came just to see me!"  
  
"And at least four of them left because of you! Now go! Your fired!"  
  
"Fine!" screeched Heart Throb. She flung her latest order at him, lodging a french fry up his nose. Then she stomped out tossing off her waiters uniform in a bush. It happened to be Shady's, and she ran out of it screaming down the street.  
  
Peachy was also fired, though she took it more calmly.  
  
"I'm sorry," said the manager "but people are complaining that you don't cut their hair right, they say you just shave it off and give them wigs." Peachy blinked. "What's wrong with that?"  
  
But he explained that that wasn't why they came here, and so Peachy left too.  
  
Gusty was fired too. But that was because somebody tried to sue her.  
  
"She tried to spear me with her invisible horn," said a nervous young man with a bandage on his arm. "And I was innocent!"  
  
Barnacle was kicked off the ships when he missed a load of fish, and they rotted, eventually being found by an unfortunate 9 year old who'd come shopping with his Dad.  
  
Shady still hid in bushes. Sigh.  
  
Fizzy was fired too, after she accidently stepped on a little girl and broke her arm, and a mother complained and sued the school board. She left in tears.  
  
Wind Whistler finally couldn't take it anymore when the students grabbed her tail as she was flying out of reach, and threw her out the window. She, for probably the first time, lost her temper and flung chalk at them before she left.  
  
And Bowtie was getting one too many odd looks from fellow scientists after her coat almost fell off.  
  
And finally they realized that Brain's world wasn't all as good as they'd thought it was. They all stomped over to the lab. Except Shady. She stared throught the window, scared of something else. Probably the angry explosions from Gusty.  
  
"We wanna go back!" they yelled.  
  
But Brain stared. "Oh, no," he said angrily "You had your chance to return. Too late now."  
  
The ponies left. They held a meeting at a park, dragging Shady behind them.  
  
"I liked being on a police force." said Gusty forlornly.  
  
"An' I liked sellin' fish." said Barnacle.  
  
"Teaching University was a great challenge." said Wind Whistler.  
  
Shady piped up suddenly. "Well why don't you keep selling fish? You did before. And why don't you start your own Police force, Gusty? And you start a University, Wind Whistler?"  
  
Peachy added. "Well why not? I guess pony hair is fine for me."  
  
"And if they can start a police force, I can certainly start my own cafe." said Heart Throb. "Then everybody can admire me. I mean, go there to eat... and stuff. Eh heh heh..."  
  
"And Labs aren't as bad as I thought." said Bowtie "Maybe after I go to Wind Whistler's University, I can start my own lab, and we can work on cures for deseases and stuff. I read something about vaccinations that sounds really great!"  
  
They sorted things out.  
  
"But how will we get back?" said Fizzy suddenly. "Brain has the blue stuff."  
  
"We steal it." said Gusty. "this is no time to be nice. Brain was right and we were wrong. We shouldn't have stayed here. We belong in Ponyland. Baby Gusty must be so worried, and the same with Baby Heart Throb, Baby Wind Whistler, and basically all our babies. I can't believe we forgot about them."  
  
They wallowed in guilt for a second. Well, not Barnacle. He was looking interested in a butterfly, though he tried not to show it.  
  
"Well, we might as well prepare, then." said Peachy. "We should write Brain a note."  
  
"Sure" said Gusty. "You write it. I don't want any part in that."  
  
So she did.  
  
Bowtie remembered something. "Brain said to make the blue stuff work, you have to have cheez whiz to reverse it. I'll go get it."  
  
Heart Throb gave up her pay, not caring. It wasn't worth anything in Ponyland anyway, right? Bowtie ran off and came back with a big jar of Cheez Whiz.  
  
Then they waited for nightfall. 


	13. Chapter Twelve

~ Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That night, the ponies waited outside the door of the lab.  
  
"Is he sleeping yet?" whispered Gusty as quietly as she possibly could.  
  
"Yes." Peachy whispered back, "I think so."  
  
They opened the door silently, and walked silently inside, hoofsteps hitting the concrete floor with pattering sounds and echoeing off the walls.  
  
Peachy placed the note slightly under Brain's cage so it wouldn't blow away in the wind, and then waited as Bowtie ruffled around the counters and drawers by Brain's cage. There were lots of papers and such inside of them, and it took a while to find what they were looking for.  
  
"Got it." Bowtie whispered, holding up the vial of aqua liquid. It glowed eerily in the darkness broken only by the blueish light of the moon through the windows.  
  
She unscrewed the cheez whiz and took out a glob as the others piled up desks, chairs and other various pieces of furniture silently as they could to make a stairway up to where the portal was. Then Bowtie unscrewed it, and jammed the Cheez Whiz into the vial.  
  
Orange smoke filled the room, and Barnacle ripped off the boards covering the roof where they'd patched the hole, with a large crack.  
  
Brain woke up, hearing the commotion. "What's going on?" he yelled, but it was too late.  
  
The ponies lept one by one into the open portal with a blurred goodbye. Except for Gusty, who just grunted. Of course.  
  
"Bye, Brain!" Yelled Bowtie, the last pony. She waved a hoof, then jumped into it, and the portal closed for the last time in a flash of blinding light. 


	14. Chapter Thirteen

~ Acme Labs ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Brain was shocked. He had stayed up, doing various calculations and such, until he finally decided to go to sleep.  
  
He'd woken to an...err ...odd surprise. The portal had opened, and the ponies were jumping one by one into it. The portal had closed and he'd been left bewildered in his cage until he pieced it together.  
  
Brain sighed and decided he would go to sleep for once, and think about it in the morning.  
  
He curled up, and prepared for slumber....  
  
But then he noticed the note. Pulling it throught the bars of his cage, he unfolded it.  
  
[i]Dear Brain,  
  
By now we'll have left into the portal. Sorry if we left a mess behind. We are also sorry that we didn't listen to you when you said we should leave. But it was such an adventure that we couldn't help but forget our friends and family.  
  
Most of the experiences on earth have never been heard of in Ponyland. It was quite and adventure, and one we'll never forget.  
  
Sorry about the TV that we took, but we thought that the others would like to see it. And the novels, the bottle of coke, the VCR, tapes, batteries, radio, clock, microwave, computer, printer, scanner, camera and other various equipment.  
  
We really are sorry for what we did. Gusty says that she isn't sorry, but I'm sure she is deep down. Really, really, REALLY deep down...  
  
GoodBye,  
  
Peachy, Gusty, Bowtie, Heart Throb, Baranacle, Fizzy, Wind Whistler and Shady.[/i] 


	15. Epilogue

~ Epilogue ~~~~~~~~  
  
Well, I guess I could say things returned to normal after that, but I would be lying.  
  
I'm not saying everything was different. A lot of things weren't. Like Pinky returning, for instance. Brain never told him about the ponies.  
  
As for the ponies? They returned to Dream Valley, to meet a very happy reception. They told of their adventure, and received awe in return. Bowtie was guilty, and apologized formally in front of an audiance, only falling off the stage once, and swearing twice.  
  
True to her words, Wind Whistler asked Majesty, who loved the idea of a University. A large one was build next to the new Nursery that had been built last year. It was very lovely, made of bright blue stone, with many windows.  
  
It was called the University of Dream Valley. Many ponies attended, including Bowtie, who changed in intelligence-- not in attitude, of course. She went on to be a scientist, and yes, she made her own lab.  
  
Heart Throb's Cafe was a great success. That was partly due to the fact that Heart Throb herself was not a waiter... She was too busy. Bushwoolies were hired, and the ponies were surprised to find out how good they were at serving since they always agreed with the customer's.  
  
Barnacle sold fish in the market, which did very well, even if the smell of him did not exactly attract the ladies. Ah well, he didn't care if he smelled like tuna, even if everyone else did.  
  
Fizzy ended up teaching Baby Ponies. There wasn't much of a difference there, or with Peachy, who still worked at the parlor.  
  
Gusty started the Ponyland Police Force, which stopped many thieves and thugs, as few as they were in Ponyland. And nobody sued for horn damage -- in Ponyland, being speared by a unicorn at least once in your life, on purpose or by accident, was a natural occurance.  
  
So basically Ponyland changed-- for the better!  
  
And as for Brain? He hasn't taken over the world...  
  
...Yet....  
  
~~~~  
  
Fin.  
  
~~~ 


End file.
